Stella Makes Good Read online

  ‘Carly, enough. I am not about to fall in love.’

  ‘Just saying. Besides, you have no control over who you fall in love with … it’s destiny.’

  ‘Thank you. Let’s change the topic.’ Thinking about Mike was making me feel a tad too excited.

  ‘Talking of destiny,’ said Louisa, walking back into the room with three coffees, ‘I’ve just told Philippe I’m coming back to Australia.’

  ‘Jesse will be ecstatic,’ said Carly.

  Louisa glanced at Jesse, who was still asleep. ‘I know. San Francisco is wild and crazy and I love the place, but I think I could love Sydney, too. Anyway, I’m giving it a shot. It means bringing my beloved Ziggy out here and putting him in quarantine for six months, so I wouldn’t be doing that if I didn’t have serious long-term goals. I just want Jesse to know that it’s not because I feel obliged. I want to be here. And …’ She trailed off.

  ‘Come on,’ I said. ‘And what?’

  ‘Philippe’s coming out, too. We’ll see how it goes.’

  ‘Wow,’ I said, almost spilling my coffee. ‘That’s great. I’m so happy for you.’

  Louisa smiled. ‘Yeah. Perhaps I haven’t been entirely honest with myself about my feelings for him. I know it might end in tears, but if I’m ever going to take the next step with him, now’s the time. We’ll see out the academic year at USF, then come over. I should be able to pick up work here. Anyway, it’s an adventure.’

  ‘Absolutely,’ I said, raising my coffee cup. ‘Here’s to life. It’s definitely one hell of a rollercoaster.’

  arly was finally home … and she was wrecked. All she wanted to do was shower and fall into bed. When her phone rang, she assumed it would be Brett. She hadn’t spoken to him except a very brief and tearful conversation letting him know Jesse was awake. But when she glanced at the number, she saw it was Nicholas’s. She hesitated about whether or not to answer it given her tired and emotional state, but he rang so rarely.

  ‘Hello.’ Her voice was croaky and uneven.

  ‘Mum? Are you okay?’

  She felt herself tearing up. ‘Yes, darling. It’s good to hear from you.’ She told him about Jesse, then said, ‘I’m worried about you, too.’

  ‘Yeah, I know. That’s why I’m ringing. Mr Sinclair said he’s going to email you and explain everything, but basically this kid, Jeremy Middleton, doesn’t like being away from home. He makes up stories about the other students, the assistants, the ground staff, everybody.’

  ‘So he made up the story about the towel flicking?’

  Nicholas laughed. ‘No, we were flicking towels, but there were loads of us involved. He made a big deal out of it because he wants his parents to pull him out of school. Fair enough—he hates being a boarder, and his parents only live two miles away. Seems a bit weird, but it’s the way the Brits do things.’

  ‘So you’re not about to be kicked out?’

  ‘Of course not. The guys think I’m great.’

  ‘I’m so relieved.’ Carly hesitated a moment. ‘Nick, there’s something else. Your dad told me about Mr Busby—’

  ‘What? I told him not to.’

  ‘I’m upset that you felt you couldn’t tell me.’

  ‘Why would I? It’s embarrassing. He was a lunatic sending me crazy letters.’

  Carly took a deep breath. ‘I found the letters. So you didn’t—’

  ‘Mum! Gross. I knew you’d freak, that’s why I told Dad. He dealt with it. He had a word to Busby and the principal, and next thing I knew he was gone.’

  All these revelations were doing Carly’s head in. ‘So you’re not …’

  ‘Mum! I’m not gay! And I don’t have any trouble finding girls to sleep with either.’

  Okay, thank you. Too much information.

  ‘Nick, I’ve been so worried. I had no idea all this was going on.’

  ‘You’re not supposed to know everything about me. I have my own life.’

  ‘I can’t help worrying. I’m your mother—it’s what I do best. So you’re okay? I didn’t fail you?’

  ‘How?’

  ‘By not picking up on the Mr Busby signs.’

  ‘Mum! There weren’t any Mr Busby signs because nothing happened. Sure, he was annoying and sent me gross letters, but he was harmless and unhappy. There was never a time when the two of us were alone.’

  ‘You’re sure?’

  ‘I’m sure. Look, if I need therapy later on, you can pay for it.’

  ‘It’s a deal. And Nicky, you’re not really sleeping with girls, are you? And if you are—’

  ‘Hanging up now. Bye, Mum.’ He ended the call.

  On autopilot, Carly walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. There was a full bottle of wine in there and she pulled it out. So much had happened over the past few days; she was finding it hard to digest it all. It was so strange how a single action like meeting Toby and going to that party could have caused so many lives to veer off in directions no one could have imagined. Carly’s behaviour that night had set in motion a chain of events that had led to her friend lying in a hospital bed in a coma.

  She stared at the bottle’s label for a minute, Steve’s words from a week earlier playing in her mind: I can recommend the Oyster Bay Riesling this week. It’s on special for a hundred and thirty bucks a dozen, and since you buy your liquor by the crate, you’ll save a bundle. Or rather, Brett will. Wine had been a crutch she had relied on for too long. Now, Carly had a picture in her mind of what her future looked like and it didn’t include her passed out every night from too much alcohol consumption. She put the bottle back in the fridge and closed the door.

  What she needed right now was sleep, not wine. She walked into her bedroom, took off her shoes and fell into bed. She woke when Brett sat down on the bed beside her.

  ‘Carly,’ he said softly, ‘are you okay? I’m so happy about Jesse.’

  She opened her eyes slightly, adjusting to the dim light. ‘Jesse? Yes … so happy.’ She closed her eyes again.

  ‘Hon, are you okay?’

  She nodded. ‘So tired. Spoke to Nicky.’

  Brett sighed. ‘I’m so sorry for not telling you. I was trying to support Nick the best way I knew how, but I stuffed up.’

  Carly forced herself to wake up fully. ‘No, I’m sorry. I know you were trying to do the right thing.’

  She sat up, and Brett stroked her hair then put his hand around the back of her neck. ‘Are we okay?’ he asked.

  She shook her head. ‘I don’t know. After everything that’s happened with Jesse, I’m an emotional wreck.’

  ‘I’m here for you, you know, and I always will be.’ When he pulled her into him and kissed her on the lips, she felt instantly comforted.

  ‘What did Nick say?’ Brett asked.

  ‘You were right. Everything’s been sorted with the sports master.’

  He smiled. ‘See, I told you.’

  He lay down on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her in close. When he kissed her, she felt herself responding to him in a way she hadn’t for months. The kissing was slow and intimate and felt divine. Carly pulled back and glanced at the door. ‘What about Will? What if he comes home?’

  ‘He’s at basketball practice till eight. Let’s live dangerously, hey?’ Brett whispered, massaging her breasts through her dress.

  ‘But I’ve been so stupid.’

  ‘We both have. I know you’ve been unhappy. I was trying to wish it away.’

  ‘With all that’s happened to Jesse, I realise how selfish I’ve been. I do love you, Brett.’

  ‘I know. I love you, too,’ He said as they both shrugged off their clothes.

  Brett pulled her down on his chest and kissed her neck. Carly knew every inch of his body. He was so familiar; his scent, the freckles on his stomach, the perfect way their bodies fitted together.

  ‘Feels good,’ she said, positioning herself above him so Brett could enter her. A couple of thrusts and he was inside.

  He smiled
. ‘Just good?’

  Carly stared into his deep brown eyes, her pleasure obvious.

  ‘Fucking fantastic,’ she said finally as they found their intimate rhythm and rocked together, revelling in the moment.

  I was home, tired and exhausted, but happy to be with Hannah, Ben and June. All that had happened over the last week had made me even more aware of the importance of family. I was so grateful for the love and joy my children brought me, and for the loving marriage I’d enjoyed with Terry, and the continuing presence of June in my life. That’s what got you through in the end: the love of family and friends, and a belief in yourself that you were doing the right thing, or at least the very best you could.

  I thought back to my conversation with Jesse that evening, just as I was preparing to leave. She’d woken up briefly and motioned me to move closer to her.

  ‘Steve and I … finished …’ she’d whispered. ‘Feeling sad but strong, too … How do you do it?’

  I’d taken her hand. ‘One step at a time, one day at a time, angel. When Terry and I got together, he told me he’d love me forever and I know he meant it. But forever is a long time and maybe it’s just too much of an ask.’

  Jesse had nodded slightly.

  ‘We’re all here for you, Jess,’ Louisa had added.

  ‘Yes,’ I said softly. ‘We’re all here. I’m leaving now, but I’ll be back, darling.’

  ‘Tomorrow?’

  ‘You bet,’ and I’d kissed her lightly on her forehead through the bandages before heading out the door.

  Now, I sat at the kitchen table, drinking tea and enjoying June’s company as she filled me in on the last few days of family life. She’d been marvellous while I was spending so much time at the hospital. She’d organised the kids, supervised the making of their school lunches and had even made sure they stacked their dirty plates in the dishwasher. Not only that, but the past few nights she’d persuaded Hannah to log off Farmville and do her maths homework.

  ‘But only after I agreed to sign on to Facebook,’ she told me with a chuckle.

  ‘Facebook?’

  ‘Don’t look so surprised. I’m not that ancient. Besides, it will open up a whole new world to me. I’ve already got two friends,’ she said proudly. ‘Hannah and Ben.’

  ‘Really? Well done. They keep rejecting me but I’m trying not to take it personally.’

  ‘Sweetie,’ she said wisely, ‘they’re never going to accept you. You’re their mother. I’m a harmless old lady. I pose no threat.’

  ‘So you’ll spy on them for me?’ I asked with a smile.

  ‘Of course, my dear. Why else would I join?’

  We were laughing together when the doorbell rang.

  ‘Expecting anyone?’ I asked her.

  She shook her head, and I walked down the corridor to answer it.

  I opened the door to see Mike standing there. He was looking tired but still gorgeous, wearing denim jeans, a collared blue shirt and a big wide smile. I was surprised … and then I was delighted and excited. Until a split second later when I remembered. ‘Is it Jesse? She was fine—’

  ‘Shush,’ he said, putting his forefinger against my lips. ‘In my expert opinion, I’d say she’s doing very well. Better than expected given everything that’s happened.’

  My heart skipped a couple of beats—relief or desire, I wasn’t sure. But I was enjoying the warm erotic sensation of his finger on my lips.

  ‘How are you doing?’ he asked.

  ‘Okay, though I’m a bit puzzled as to why you’re standing on my front doorstep.’

  ‘Yeah,’ he said, kissing me lightly on the lips. ‘Must be confusing for you, because I know you’re definitely not looking for romance.’

  He put his hands around my waist and I couldn’t help melting into his arms. Still, I stuck to my guns. ‘That’s right.’

  He moved in towards me, his body close against mine, and I could smell his fresh woodsy scent. ‘We need to work on that,’ he said and kissed me again, this time with greater ardour.

  It had been a long time since I’d kissed someone new and I wasn’t disappointed. Despite sounding like a fifteen-year-old, all I could think was what a good kisser he was … passionate, forceful, arousing. He tasted like peppermint. I wanted more. A lot more. In fact, my legs started to go wobbly. If I could have whisked him up to my bedroom right then, I would have.

  ‘Mum!’

  I heard Hannah’s voice in the background and pulled away. ‘I guess we should stop,’ I said half-heartedly.

  He smiled, still holding me in his arms. ‘I guess. After all, we’ve got time on our side.’

  I liked that.

  ‘So,’ he said, stealing another kiss, ‘dinner tomorrow night?’

  I smiled. I’d said no to him before and instantly regretted it. Now I was going to say yes and dive into whatever lay ahead. Rather than hover around the periphery, worrying about whether I was making the right decision, I was going with my heart—and my heart was screaming at me to seize the moment, to accept what the universe was offering me.

  It was one of the lessons I’d learned over the past few days.

  ‘Why don’t you come in?’ I said and took Mike’s hand and led him inside.

  nts

  incerest thanks to all at Allen & Unwin, especially my publisher, Louise Thurtell, to whom Stella Makes Good is dedicated.

  Thanks to Christa Munns for your insight and guidance, and to the sales, marketing and promotion team. To Nicola O’Shea, huge hugs for your ongoing, outstanding editorial suggestions. I feel exceptionally privileged to have had your input for all four of my novels.

  And to Ellie Exarchos—another stunning cover! I love it. Thank you. (I want that woman’s shoes and dress … Oh, and the balloons. In fact, I want to be that woman!)

  Finally, the continued support of my family and friends has been outstanding. I spend an obscene amount of time living in my head with my imaginary friends, so thanks for your understanding and combined resistance to have me committed.

  A special shout out to Anjanette Morton, Dr Anita Heiss, Dr Jeremy Fisher and Lloyd Christison. You guys rock!

  And, as always, thanks to Betting, Josh, Noah and Mia for everything. I couldn’t have written this book without you on my side.

  The characters in Stella Makes Good are fictional, as are the sex/swingers parties I’ve invented. Sydney’s North Shore is a perfectly respectable part of town!